Friday, February 10, 2017

Musings on Baby #2

The week has flown by and I have had no time to get a more formal post together! As plenty of thought has already gone into this subject, I'm going to ramble a little about the things I'm dwelling on during this last stretch of pregnancy.

Like this informal post, here is also our informal "belly" picture. I'd love to get a great one of these in the photo studio, but I'm not sure it will happen. Henry is not very tolerant of sitting in the studio to get his picture taken. Luckily, my husband was taking pictures and caught this moment.

I've done a few things to prepare for Baby #2, my post Preparing for Baby: #2. And I have a few more things to do, like setting up my diaper stations which I'll do posts on soon.

I'm at 34 weeks this week! I met the doctor who will be performing my c-section, provided baby doesn't decide to come early. The practice I see has 12 physicians. I go to one of the smaller offices so only see 3 of them. For the first four days of my 39th week, which is when they scheduled c-sections, none of the 3 docs I know is on rotation at the hospital. So I went out of my way to go to the other office just this once to meet the doctor ahead of time. She seemed nice, probably spent close to 30 minutes with me, and answered all my questions. Unless you are at a small practice, I feel the days of having a single OB/GYN who followed you through your pregnancy and delivered your baby no matter the day or time are in the past.

As this last stretch is growing ever more uncomfortable, I'm so looking forward to delivery. I much prefer my babies on the outside at this point! But I don't want him to come early, I used to work with premature babies and although 37 weeks is technically considered full term, 39 weeks is plenty early for me.

Despite the excitement and anticipation, I feel a great deal of guilt over giving my toddler a sibling at this early juncture!

When I look at my almost 20 month old, I'm very aware that he:

  1. Would benefit from more only child time.
  2. Does not really understand that a baby is coming.
  3. Will be unsettled by me being away at the hospital.
  4. Will not like that I am unable to pick him up after surgery.

My son is normally a very happy, calm child. Really he has an excellent disposition and I have no idea where he got it from. I'm concerned what introducing a baby into our household will do to his happy routine.

My son will point at my belly and say "baby" and "brother." He loves his book, "I'm a big brother" and says the title when he picks it off the shelf. On the last page of the book, he will point to the family members and name them, "mama, baba (daddy in Mandarin), baby, and me." But does he understand what a baby is and that one is going to come home some day? I don't think so.

My in-laws are arriving one week prior to my c-section date to practice doing meals and putting Henry to bed (and in case I go into labor early). Henry loves his nai-nai (grandma) and ye-ye (grandpa) and my mother-in-law is more than capable of caring for him. Yet, my son is so used to having me home all the time. In the evenings, if I'm exercising and my husband is playing with him, Henry will come to find me. 

We are not sure at this point if we want to bring him to the hospital for a visit. He likes to Face Time with his relatives, and I wonder if he would benefit from that or if it would just upset him. I know I can send my husband home to get him settled if necessary, but that will put a lot more responsibility on me in the hospital.

Henry is also really into the "mama pick up" phase and the "up up up" phase. I've been working on delaying pick up requests already...mama is making lunch and will pick you up in a let's climb up the stairs, mama will climb with you. C-section recovery last time was daunting with a newborn and a dog. Now I worry I won't meet my toddler's needs as well. 

But...this was all planned! I planned my pregnancies so close together primarily because of my age. A secondary reason was concerns about the Zika virus possibly making its way up the east coast from Florida. I've heard the first months are hard, but that things should only improve so I am hoping for the best!

Luckily there are a few good points about my toddler's young age!

  1. He is not ready for potty training yet, so there is no worry about interrupting that or regressing.
  2. He is still somewhat containable behind gates and in a play area.
  3. He is still at the solitary play stage (0-2) and will do independent play for short time periods.

I would love any tips on bringing home baby #2, please post a comment and share!


  1. I don't have any advice as we just had our first baby, but don't feel guilty for your oldest! My sister and I are 15 months apart, and we both agree, it has been the greatest gift. There is no friendship like it and, while I'm sure the early years will be challenging, they will have built-in playmates when they're older!

    1. Thanks for the kind words Christina! I hope my boys will be the best of friends. Congratulations to you on your son, I hope motherhood is treating you well!